When you are in recovery from drug or alcohol abuse, you’re given a set of tools to use to stay sober. While relapse is common in many cases—and not to be thought of as failure if it does happen—one of the most valuable tools to prevent relapse is your sponsor.
Your sponsor plays a critical role in your recovery. A study done by the Alcohol Research Group showed that attending meetings and having a sponsor were the only strong and consistent predictors of abstinence1. This study demonstrated that regularly attending 12-step meetings and relying on a sponsor to help remain abstinent are two crucial parts of sustained sobriety.
What is a Sponsor?
A sponsor is someone who is recovering from addiction themselves, and they function as a role model and mentor while providing support. Your sponsor has experienced the struggles of addiction and knows what it is like to be in your shoes. When you have challenges in abstinence and can turn to someone who knows exactly how it feels, it fosters a sense of trust and brotherhood.
What to Look for in a Sponsor
A study conducted by DePaul University in Chicago revealed that the two most important characteristics in an effective sponsor were trustworthiness and that they are currently engaged in the program. A wide variety of characteristics were cited in the study, but 12-step engagement and high-quality character were ranked the highest most often of all factors considered2.
Choose a sponsor who is a trustworthy individual who won’t break any confidences. Ideally, your sponsor should not be someone who you are or might become romantically attracted to, as this can undermine the supportive nature of the relationship. Also, the more years of sobriety a person has, the better suited the person will be to being an effective sponsor.
Working with a Sponsor
A sponsor is someone who will listen to you when you need someone to talk to about what you’re going through. Sometimes, a friendly ear is all you need to get through a difficult time.
Your sponsor is committed to making sure you stay healthy and sober, so your sponsor will make themselves available at times of the day or night when others may not. By having this access to someone who can help when you have a crisis or are experiencing powerful cravings, you are assured your sponsor will be there to help you through the rough times.
Therapeutic Alliance
When you work with a sponsor, you will form a bond with each other. Many call this a “therapeutic alliance” that exists within an atmosphere of trust. You’ll know that whatever advice you are given comes from experience. If it worked for your sponsor, it can work for you.
This gives you the confidence to believe in what your sponsor is advising, as well as the courage to follow through with it. Getting advice from a person who has successfully maintained their own sobriety is a powerful tool to use yourself going forward. Being a newcomer to recovery, you will benefit from your sponsor’s experience.
References:
- http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23327505
- http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26951774